CAN YOU SAY, ER ... " BADASS-EST " π π₯β ... { THIS IS A SEMI PARODICAL TITLE } .
A "Good, Old Fashioned" -{ B I G }- Screen Review .
Letty Ortiz: "Hi, little Brian. I have a gift for you. Your Daddy gave me this, & now I'm going to give it to you. It's very Special { Letty takes off her necklace & puts it around Brian's neck } ...it's for protection... from what's coming" .
First & foremost, -{ Not Only }- is this undeniable "behemoth" of a movie, with its USD 200 Million -plus- production budget, broadly speaking, -{ GENUINELY β }- enjoyable; but it is -Also- "rather surprisingly", and very reassuringly so . . . " relatively " . . . -very- Family Friendly, indeed. As a doting -{ P a r e n t }- , I had, to be very honest, expected -Considerably- worse; given what the 'seemingly standard trend' with Blockbuster-fare ( on -this- magnitude, atleast ) is, in this... 'our pretty, darn reckless' ..day and age .
Moreover, I just -{ LOVE π }- how the movie ...unreservedly... -not only- "laughs out loud" -{ at itself }- of course , but often -Also- seems like it's having a 'rollicking good time' doing it. For -all- the 'Contrarian'-reviewers on a very similar platform to this known as 'IMDb' { that appear absolutely -Bent- on picking this fairly "lighthearted" & essentially " PLAYFUL " picture apart for just about 'every conceivable reason under the sun' }: I have -just- 3 'Profound' words to say to you: "Watch It Again". Because that is -just- what I did, & I ended up enjoying it -{ way }- more the second time around ; managing to, on the one hand, clear up -Several- of my initial doubts... & on the other ; to -{ truly }- appreciate how ( actually ) "Un"-seriously ..."F9" really takes itself. Keep your eye out for the tiny but absolutely -{ hilariousβ}- little "Who's Dominic Toretto?" scene ; you'll get a better feel for what I mean. But let me be .."Starkly".. clear. -{ In no way }- is my review title meant to suggest to you, -even remotely- , that this is somehow 'the best cinematic offering on earth' right now, or -any- such manner of preposterous thing. The pointed -{ reason }- , as it were, for my use of the -decidedly- " Lively " , Benignly Parodical, & even "mildly histrionic" , film review -Title- that you see above, is, quite simply , 'as follows' .
----- " It's a well known fact by now that the -{ Ever }- grandiose pictures of the 'Fast And Furious' franchise seem to -forever- be looking to " One Up Themselves " , in terms of making their vehicular ( in particular ) action sequences -{ well and truly }- " One-Of-A-Kind " . In keeping with this 'practically-Sacrosanct ( π π )' , time honoured tradition . . . . F9's very accomplished 'In-house' writer-Director Justin Lin has ( -Yet- ) again proven that he most certainly is the very 'living embodiment' of this rule, by taking those wild & wacky ( bespoke ) 'Gas-Guzzler Gymnastics' of his all the way , you guessed it , to -{ Outer Space }- . . . . not to mention all the -many, many- other ( almost ) as utterly, utterly, utterly 'Ludacris' stunts performed ...seemingly as if... 'by all those Mega-fancy automobiles themselves'. ( Watch the final -official- trailer for F9 , if it's still going to be a while before said movie hits your part of the world ). So there you have it. Hence that 'affectionate little touch' of, well , " Classic-hyperbole " , in my review-Title . " -----
And so, in closing, here are the things I consider to be the -{ Most }- likeable, about the picture. 1 : The ever-fresh, ever-sweet rapport that 'Dominic Toretto' ( Vin Diesel ) has with 'Letty Ortiz' ( Michelle Rodriguez ). 2 : The { Un }-deniable " Brilliance π " , really , with which -Several- mind bogglingly complex, & indeed, 'super-Protracted' multiple vehicle chase & combat scenes were put together. 3 : -All- those "giant-Magnet special effects", ( this is -Also- teased in the trailers, which are freely available to watch on youtube ), meticulously crafted to, frankly, ".nothing less than sheer -{ Perfection }- " . 4 : The film's -{ Delectable }- smattering of short, nonetheless utterly -Classic- " Movie-Reincarnation sequences " . Meaning . . . { action or comedy ( or both ) 'Re-works' of -Well- established , ( & often beloved, even ) , " Universally Iconic Cinematic-moments " } . . . which in the case of F9 ...{ Un }-mistakably... were sequences that hearkened -Right- back to a few ( very ) specific, timeless, & -Massively- popular scenes from A : 'Jurrasic Park-Part One', B : 'Terminator Three-Rise Of The Machines' ( -OR- 'The Dark Knight' : your prefererence, really ), & C : 'Austin Powers-Part One', -even- , just to name the ( Most π ) notable ones. 5 : And last but by no means the least : there really -{ Was }- a whole lot of -actually- funny stuff in F9. And I am, -of course- referring here to -Very- many moments of "Unabashedly-Dumb Frivolity" involving , ( but not limited to ) ; none other than the " Uber-talented " Tyrese Gibson, ( 'Roman' ), & his -equally- Fun partner-in-comedy, Ludacris ( 'Tej' ) ; with the ever charming Nathalie Emmanuel ( 'Ramsey' ) chiming in 'most pleasantly' from time to time, for good measure .
Summary : If you -{ Didn't }- come to F9 to see cars flying in, well, -outer space- , ( and other such " Colossally " Zany-things ) , then you -most certainly- came to the wrong place. { Translation } : if you're ( one of those ) the -'Many, Many'- ( aforementioned ) negative-reviewers, and feel like you were ( -better- ) suited to simply watching 'Normal' cars just driving around, well... 'Normally' ...& -{ Not }- doing a multitude of "crazy & extraordinary" things ; then can I -very humbly- recommend, say, ....going & sitting down at a nearby bus-stop, & watching 'The Street'.... -{ Instead }- . Because, 'for better or worse', -this- movie does -{ Exactly }- what it says on the tin , " & Then Some " . Furthermore, the two -Main- Male "Lead-pairs", namely, A : Vin Diesel and John Cena ; and B : Vinnie Bennett and Finn Cole, ( a.k.a 'Young Dom', and 'Young Jakob' ), play -{ remarkably }- well off one another ; whilst -All- the "Leading Ladies" plunge headfirst into this veritable, -{ MINDLESS }- Fun-Fest , " With A Vengeance " . So it's going to be a generous, -{ "Very Grateful" }- , and decidedly " pandemic-Considerate " 7.75 Marks Out Of 10.00 from me. Well, only one thing left to say, then. " I G N I T I O N π β " .